Forgive My Words
by Fujiwara-Yume Projects
Summary: Takano said something cruel to Ritsu, which lead to Ritsu killing himself. Yet is this all just a dream, reality or an illusion made by certain someone?
1. Chapter 1

8th Contest Entry

**Christmas Special Fanfiction**

**by Misha Arsellec Klein**

**Title:** Forgive My Words

**Summary:**"I'm sorry" Takano whispered to the younger man beneath him. Some tears fell down from the older man's eyes. Yet just like he expected, the younger man didn't make any sound at all. He doesn't even blink. And the younger man lifeless body was embraced by him.

**Rated: T**

**A/N:**Guys, don't be tricked by the summary. Don't worry, this is NOT a character death fic. But it does contain **tragedy,****drama,****hurt/comfort,****supernatural****and****romance.**Let's just say that I love to make heart breaking tragedies. But I don't know whether you guys will cry or not since my grammar sucks and you guys get annoyed by it :P Oh and by what I remembered, Takano is OLDER than Ritsu... right? XD asking the obvious

Anyway, the main pairing is _obviously_Takano and Ritsu. Hope you'll enjoy it.

I do not own Sekaiichi Hatsukoi!

(I'm from Indonesia and MISTAKES in English is actually so MANY)

Going on with the story!

"_I'm sorry..."_

_I'm so sorry_

"_If... I didn't say that..."_

_Please..._

"_You wouldn't..."_

_Don't die..._

"_You wouldn't..."_

_It's all my fault._

"_...Please..."_

_If only I..._

"_Don't leave me again"_

"Why don't you just LEAVE and DIE, then?"

As he said those words, he slapped the brunette right on his face. Yet as the words slipped out of his mouth, he immediately regretted it. Scared, maybe nervous, he glanced at the younger man who was sitting on the floor. The younger man—Onodera Ritsu—touched his now red left cheek, smeared with fresh blood. He stared back at the one who just slapped him. Horror was printed on his face, with teary eyes, he finally spoke with trembling voice, "...you..."

"Y-You _hit_me..."

Yes, God only knows why, just now, the Chief Editor of Emerald just slap—no, _hit_ Onodera Ritsu right on the face. It seemed the stress that was overwhelming inside the older man, plus the case with Yokozawa and Ritsu's fiance:Kohinata An, made everything a lot more worse. And they were having fights all over again. Only this time, when Ritsu said that he would never want to meet the Chief Editor ever again if he kept this kid like behaviour, and then the stress, anger and frustation all went out and without thinking, the older man just slapped him accross the face.

Takano stared at the younger man with guilt printed on his face. Just when he wanted to reach for the man, he stood up, bangs covered his eyes. "Onodera... I'm so-"

"_Fine__"_ He said with cold voice, yet Takano noticed enough that Ritsu was trying to not to cry.

Ritsu walked to the door. Takano called his name, tried to finish this _little_ misunderstanding.

"Onode-"

"I said _fine_didn't I?" And he walked out of the door. Leaving the dumbstruck Takano all alone.

Time passed by, ever since then, Takano never heard even a single news about Ritsu. After that argument they were in, Ritsu disappeared _once__again_ from Takano's life. However, his apartment was still holding his clothes, books, furnitures and all. He already checked the place using the spare key the landlady gave him. So that's mean Ritsu haven't left yet, he just didn't come back home. And plus, he was always absent since that day. He wasn't coming to the office, and he wasn't transferred to any other departments either. He just went...missing.

Takano gritted his teeth. Why? Why did he do such thing? He was so stupid to hit him, to shout at him and told him to just leave and die. _Die_. The words struck Takano. What if Ritsu did _die_? _'__No,__he__'__s__not__stupid__'_. But who was stupid enough to just leave and went missing for days, weeks, even months? Heck, Takano was not even sure that he was still alive or not. And tomorrow is his birthday either, the 24th of December. He stared out at the window. There was snowstorm outside, yesterday too. He hoped that tomorrow won't have any snowstorm, so he can search for Ritsu _again_, on his birthday.

He'll get a day off at that day, he promised himself.

_**The next day...**_

He went searching all over the town, yet no results at all. He gone desperate. _'__Where__is__Onodera..?__That__idiot...__'_ Just when he went to buy a coffee, he heard an old lady said something.

"Is the young man already went home already...? Months ago, we found him fainted because of exhaustion and you soon taking care of him. And then two days ago, he was standing like a statue, even in a snowstorm. Is he alright?"

Another old lady that was beside her said, "Mmn, I don't actually know. But I don't see him anymore, so he probably went home, or maybe walked off somewhere... He just refuses to come back home, that Ritsu..."

_Ritsu?_

Takano immediately asked the old lady, "Excuse me, is the 'Ritsu' you're actually talking about is a man in his twenties with brown hair and green eyes?" The old lady nodded, "well, yes, how did you know?"

"I'm sorry, but where did you meet him? He's my..."

_My...what?_

"...He's someone precious to me"

The old ladies stared at each other, before one of them said, "Two days ago..."

Takano drove his car in a hurry, back to the place where he went to with Ritsu, year ago, right on his birthday too. _'__That__place...__He__was__in__that__place__for__goddamn__three__days!__In__a__snowstorm!__IS__HE__CRAZY?__'_ Takano shouted in his mind, yet he was actually very worried. What if... What if...

'_Why don't you just LEAVE and DIE then?'_

Those words struck him yet again. Because of those words, THIS happened. Because of those words, he became this stupid to stay in one place in a snowstorm! It was all because of his reckless words. If only he haven't said that, none of this would never happened.

Takano stopped his car, he stepped out and searched for his beloved, his Ritsu, whom have been missing for God-knows-how-long. The snow already falling since 1 hour ago, and he was hell worried about Ritsu, even though this time was not a snowstorm. Then he noticed something behind the bush: a leg was seen. He quickly ran to the bush, only to find something he not expected.

His Ritsu, with pale blue skin, covered by the snow, his eyes were still open, yet they were not shining like they used to be. And he was not breathing. Takano shakily touched the man's red cheek—hell, even after so many months passed by, the red print from when Takano slapped him haven't gone?—and was taken aback by how cold his skin was. It's as if Ritsu himself was snow, a person-like ice. He stared at the lifeless body in front of him in horror, guilt and of course, he felt like his own soul was missing. He touched the man's cheek, slightly slapped him, "Wake up... Hey, wake up, Onodera!" He tried to shook his body, waking his precious up, yet it was no use, his body won't even budge. "Please... please wake up! This is not a joke!" He did hope that all of this was all joke, a dream, so when he woke up, he could embrace his precious once again, and never would let him go. He was so desperate. "I'm sorry" Takano whispered to the younger man beneath him. Some tears fell down from the older man's eyes. Yet just like he expected, the younger man didn't make any sound at all. He doesn't even blink. And the younger man lifeless body was embraced by him.

"I'm sorry. I'm so... sorry..." He said between tears. "If only that day... I didn't said that... You wouldn't... You wouldn't do something this stupid... I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Ritsu..." More tears fall, he now had it hard to breathe. "Please... Don't leave me _again_..."

_I love you_

Takano's eyes widened and he looked at his Ritsu—still lifeless as ever. He turned around, only to find nothing but them and his car. No-one was there. Was he hearing things?

_I really do love you_

No, he wasn't hearing things! He was sure he heard someone speaking, but... who?

Takano once again focused on Ritsu, hugged him for dear life. Ritsu didn't hug back, of course. But behind him, only God knows that certain someon—certain _thing_ was standing, smiling and said his final words:

_I'll definitely come back_

_**X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X0X0XX0X0X0X**_

"Then why don't you just le—"

Takano stopped dead track in his words. Wait a minute. He stared at the person in front of him. Onodera Ritsu, no more no less, standing, breathing, blinking. "Why don't I just what?" Ritsu bravely asked the older man. _'__He __even__ talks!__' _Takano shouted inside his mind. _'__Is __this __a __dream?__' _Takano tried to pinch his cheek, but it was hurt. _'__This __is __not __a __dream?__But__ this __situation...__'_ It was definitely months ago, the argument that started it all. Ritsu who didn't get any response asked again, "What, you want me to leave?" Takano's eyes widened. If he continue his words, the same thing would happen again. Then something crossed in his mind. And then with his oh-so-famous trademark smirk, he said the only words he could only think as a _reason._"...Then why don't you just let me have my own way with you, eh?" Ritsu stared at him, and he continued his words, "I'll pleasure you hundreds of time more, and you would so bound up with me that you won't want to leave me. And oh! If your 'An-chan' knows about this, I wonder what would happen...?" Ritsu immediately shouted with flushed face, "I'll definitely kill you, you annoying bastard! You perverted ninja!" (LOLZ XD The 7th Contest does help me a lot :P) Takano smirked, "Ninja? Then let your ninja have fun". He embraced the warm body. Yes, he would never let him go anywhere anymore. The one he loves with his entire heart, his Ritsu.

_**XOXOXOXOX**_

***sniff sniff* Finally it's done! Got me a while to write this. I hope you like it. If you have questions, tell me. (yeah I was in such a hurry when I wrote the last part) ^_^ Regards, Misha Arsellec Klein.**


	2. Chapter 2

8th Contest Entry

**Christmas Special Fanfiction**

**by Misha Arsellec Klein**

**Title:** Forgive My Words

**Summary:**"I'm sorry" Takano whispered to the younger man beneath him. Some tears fell down from the older man's eyes. Yet just like he expected, the younger man didn't make any sound at all. He doesn't even blink. And the younger man lifeless body was embraced by him.

**Rated: T**

**A/N: Since many people want me to continue this story, I'll continue it. This time is Onodera's P.O.V. And some of you may not actually understand my story since I put only a little description. So, I tell this clear. ONODERA RITSU DID DIE. Yeah and how he was able to alive and reverse the time, just read this chapter until the end. If you have more questions, tell me.**

**I'm bad at English, so there will be plenty of grammar errors and such.**

**I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI.**

**Sorry if the story's sucks.**

**PART-2:_ Onodera Ritsu_**

"Takano-san! Can't you hear what I say?" Onodera Ritsu shouted desperately, yet angrily. He stared in rage to the man in front of him, the one and only Takano Masamune, whose back was facing Ritsu. "There was NOTHING between me and An-chan, why don't you believe me that?" Ritsu said, "we were hugging only because she cried..! She was having problems, and I had to comfort her!"

Yes, not a while ago, Takano noticed Ritsu was hugging the said Kohinata An, Ritsu's oh-so-said fiance. And because of that, Takano _somehow_ became so stubborn and angry that he refuses to talk to Ritsu, and that made Ritsu quite—no, _really _desperate. Yet Ritsu couldn't tolerate him. I mean, he was _only _hugging An-chan since he wanted to comfort her. Her father got into an accident and An-chan was hell worried about her father's condition that she burst out crying, and Ritsu—as any good friend, childhood friend would do—hugged her and patted her head, trying to comfort her. Unfortunately, Takano passed by the place and spotted them, then he got jealous. And thus, this little argument happened.

"Takano-san" Ritsu called, "Do you even listen to what I say?" No answer. Takano stood still, back facing Ritsu. "Takano-san!" Still no answer. "TAKANO-SAN! LISTEN TO ME DAMMIT!" Silence. _Okay, that's it!_ Feeling depressed and angry, Ritsu decided to go all mean, so Takano would at least react, yet he didn't know that it was a wrong choice, and a wrong sentence to say.

"Fine, go with it. If you keep this childish actions of yours, I think it's better for me to go to An-chan! And you can play with that Yokozawa of yours!" The mention of An-chan and Yokozawa was the worst, yet Ritsu didn't realize that until...

_SLAP!_

It happened in a second that Takano suddenly turned around in rage and slapped Ritsu, hard. The slap was so forceful that Ritsu lost his balance and he fell to the hard floor.

"Why don't you just LEAVE and DIE, then?"

For the moment there, Ritsu's mind couldn't think of anything else except for the pain on his left cheek, and after he realized the fact that Takano had hit him and the words he just said to him, his world was being torn apart, _for the second time_. He couldn't believe it. The one that always said that he loves him, that he will always be by his side, never again hurt him, just _slapped him accross the face_. And that alone made Ritsu shocked. When he finally chose to trust the man, he was hurt _again_. Ritsu looked up, only to be taken aback by the anger in the man's eyes. Ritsu touched his cheek, he could feel blood there, and he whispered, "...You..."

"Y-You hit me..." This whisper seemed to make Takano realize about what he had done. And almost immediately, the anger in his eyes turned into worry, guilt and shock. Takano stared at his hands, almost didn't believe the fact that he just hit Ritsu. With trembling voice, Takano called Ritsu's name, trying to apologize, "Onodera, I'm so—"

_No!_

Ritsu was tired of this. All of these sorry(s), i don't mean it(s), i love you(s) and such. He just slapped him, telling him to leave and die, breaking his heart once again, and now he want to say sorry? Ha! As if Ritsu would actually accept the apology, he was heartbroken, _for the second time_! It was stupid to actually trust the person who broke your heart _twice_. And thus, Ritsu decided to end this all. Takano wants him to, and he'll do just like Takano wants.

"Fine" Ritsu said, already knew of what he should do. By thinking about what he'll do, he suddenly had the urge to cry, but he only held his tears for himself. "Onode—"

"...Fine! I said 'fine' didn't I?" He exclaimed, then walking out of the door as fast as he can.

XOXOXOXOXO

Run, run, run, away, away from this place, away from this world. He didn't want to get hurt, he didn't want to suffer, he didn't want to cry. Rather than stay alive and being heartbroken for his whole life, he decided to actually end it all. And before he knew it, he fell unconscious.

XOXOXOXOXO

Months passed, Ritsu was no-where to be found, he was still alive though, he was now living with a granny that took care of him since he fell unconscious in the park. He was healthy and all, but the granny did notice that he somewhat looked like a broken-doll, with no spirit to live.

XOXOXOXOXO

The night: 22nd of December, Ritsu finally decided to actually do what he wanted to do. He went to the place, that place where he and Takano went off to at Takano's birthday. For 2 hours, he stood at that place, didn't move even a bit. And then, the snowstorm came. He didn't move though, in fact, he decided to sit behind the bush, didn't actually cared about his physical condition.

23rd of December [Night], he was still sitting there, while thinking about his pasts, from highschool until now.

24th of December [Night], he couldn't feel his own fingers anymore, and as his body felt numb, he stared at the stars and the snow that began to fell down from the sky.

Tears leaked out of his eyes. He missed him, he wanted to meet him, he wanted to trust him again, yet he was afraid of being heartbroken again, and he just stayed there as he was crying his heart out. "Takano-san..." Somehow, he managed to whisper the words. "I'm sorry..." His vision began to blur, and his breaths became ragged. "I... really do..." As his body went limp, the last tears fell down, and before he knew it, his breaths stopped and his eyes lost its' light and then he see nothing, he heard nothing, he couldn't think of anything else except this one last sentence that gradually began to disappear.

_I really do love you..._

**To be continued~~**

**Okay! I decided to end Ritsu's P.O.V here, but it's not ended yet~ There are still more of Ritsu's P.O.V. 10 Reviews and then I'll get going~**


	3. Chapter 3

**Yay, I've updated~**

**And sorry before, since this chapter will be really odd...awkward in some places. I'm reeeeally sorry~! My brain got stuck and I can't get any ideas QAQ~ Well, I hope you like this story though... And this chapter will be the last. I will not add lemon since I never make any QAQ... Even though I've read lemons in this fandom for... 1892629342 times already, I can't write any, and I am afraid that if I write one, my parents will find out since they somehow have the hobby to look at the folders in my laptop. And passwords are useless since my parents will be like... "Why does this document have password-protected? Open it!" And then they can see the lemon. HWAAAH~! TwT**

**Ritsu: quit the babbling... Say the disclaimer already!**

**Me: Ricchan, you're so impatient ._.**

**Ritsu: Well, I AM CONCERNED ABOUT MY LIFE! WHY THE HELL DID YOU KILL ME OFF?**

**Me: I can't help it! D'X**

**Ritsu: DISCLAIMER *growls***

**Me: Hyaaa! Okay, okay! I DO NOT OWN SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI, THERE WILL BE MANY GRAMMAR ERRORS SINCE I'M BAD AT ENGLISH, OOC, Crack-ish, AND PLEASE DON'T POST MEAN REVIEW SINCE I'M NEW TwT**

**I'm writing this while listening to "Fate/Stay Night OP 1 Full" on YouTube 8D *useless info***

**Chapter 3: RE=BOOT**

_Cold..._

_Why does it feel so cold...?_

He opened his eyes to see white. He was standing on nothing, in no-where. He looked around, to see nothing but white. _What happened...?_ He wondered for a while, _didn't I supposed to be in the office...? _His mind wasn't thinking straight, and he knew. _No... What **exactly** happened...? _He rubbed his forehead and sat down, it actually suprised him that he can actually "sit" since it seemed like he was floating in the middle of white. He tried to remember what happened to him, yet it was no-use, he couldn't actually remember what happened to him, what was the place he was in and why he was here.

Time passed he was still sitting there, still trying to remember, which was actually no-use. And suddenly out of no-where, he heard the sound of water. He jerked upwards, standing up and waited for the sound to come again.

And then, the sound of water droplets was being heard again, again, and then the droplets never stopped. Ritsu walked, following the sound. As he got nearer and nearer, the sound of droplets just get more louder and louder. And when he noticed, he heard a muffled cry. _...Who's crying...?_ He tried to concentrate and he was sure that what he heard was definitely cries.

The person's voice, was amazingly familiar for him, yet he couldn't tell who.

The sobs just getting louder and louder. And the more louder it get, the more his heart sunk, the more his head hurt.

He heard whispers between sobs, and he remembered.

The more he heard the whispers, the more he remembered.

_"I'm sorry..."_

No...

_"If I don't..."_

No...

_"If I never said that..."_

No...!

_"You would never..."_

Stop...

_"Please..."_

Please stop...

_"Don't leave me again..."_

He screamed. Screamed so hard that his throat began to hurt. Tears blurred his vision, and he fell to his knees, holding his throbbing head and shook his head while saying the same thing over and over again. "...No...N-No...Nooooo..." He cried, cried so hard as he remembered what happened and why he was here.

**He was dead.**

"Nooooo!"

He was huffing, crying desperately while trying to calm himself, which was useless.

Why? Why did his heart hurt so much? He already knew why he was here: he was angry at Takano for telling him to die, and then he did die. But why did his heart ache, like it was being torn apart? Why did he actually wish for Takano to be beside him again, so that he could touch Bl, feel him, always be with him, again?

And why...

Why did Takano cry?

_'Why? You're the one who want me to die... So... why...? Why are you crying? Why are you apologizing to me like that? Why do you.. Why do you sound so desperate...?'_

And suddenly, the white was swallowed by thick darkness, and he was being sucked in by the darkness. He struggled, trying to get free, but the darkness just kept on sucking him in, and he began to lost his conciousness for the second time. His whole body was swallowed, only his right hand was left out. As he stretched his hand out, trying to grasp something, he felt someone's hand grabbed his, and he was pulled out of the darkness.

Raven haired guy, with yellow-brown eyes, calling his name with the voice he loved so much.

"Onodera!"

_'Takano-san...'_

In reflex, he embraced the man above him, while crying his heart out for the second time. "Takano-san... Takano-san... Takano-san...!"

He did not want to leave anymore.

He did not want to release this embrace anymore.

He did not want to be alone anymore.

He did not want to be without him anymore.

He loved him. He always loves him. And he always will.

"I love you..."

And he crashed his own lips to the elder guy.

* * *

><p>It was all happened in a flash, and before he knew it, he was standing inside Takano's apartment, in front of Takano.<p>

"Why don't you just lea-"

Takano stopped dead in his words, and Ritsu's breath stopped for a second. Was he going to say _those words_ again? Those horrible words...

Ritsu looked at Takano intensely, slightly hoping that he would not said the exact same words again. But when he waited, the words just never came out. Takano just pinched his cheek, and Ritsu sighed mentally. He decided to give the bait, "what? you want me to leave?"

_No, please don't say you want me to leave...!_

Takano stared at him in horror, obviously thinking about the concequences that would happen, and then, he actually saw Takano smirking.

"...Then why don't you just let me have my own way with you, eh?" Ritsu stared at him, and Takano continued his words, "I'll pleasure you hundreds of time more, and you would so bound up with me that you won't want to leave me. And oh! If your 'An-chan' knows about this, I wonder what would happen...?" Ritsu immediately shouted with flushed face, "I'll definitely kill you, you annoying bastard! You perverted ninja!" Takano smirked again, "Then let your ninja have fun"

"...Wha...IDIOT!" He shouted while flushing beet red. He looked annoyed, yes, but deep inside he was glad that Takano was back to his old side-well, perverted side. He would never do something that stupid anymore, he would regret it _again_. He will always be with him, his one and only Takano.

* * *

><p>Not too far from the place, a young girl around her 13, smiled to herself. She wrote the last part of her <em>little drama<em> on her notebook, before closing the notebook and stood. "Playing cupid is quite hard~" Then she jumped out of the Sekaiichi Hatsukoi world, back to her world where all yaoi fangirls enjoy their SiH shows~

* * *

><p><strong>*troll face* The last part is something XDXD LOLZ I dunno, it just ruin the story, but I CAN'T HELP IT! IT JUST SOMEHOW CROSSED IN MY MIND =3=<strong>

**Oh well, you could describe who IS the girl I am talking about w**

**Please, R&R! I love you all!**


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